No Ordinary Ordinance
by MYRLN (guest poster)

In Utah, a 70-year old woman was handcuffed and tossed in the slammer.

Why?

‘Cause she wouldn’t tell a cop her name.

What?

Yeah, honest. This cop was trying to write her a ticket but she wouldn’t give her name and then she decided to go back into her house.

And…?

And the cop must’ve figured she was trying to escape, so he grabbed her and cuffed her. Then she tripped on her steps and fell, scraping her nose and elbows. And the cop took her to the slammer.

You’re kidding!

Nope, and there she languished for more than an hour before police higher-ups heard of the arrest and had her released. (No, her name wasn’t Hilton.) And the arresting cop was put on administrative leave.

Huh? Wait, wait…what was he ticketing her for in the first place? Speeding? DUI? No license?

Well…no. It seems the woman had violated the town’s “nuisance” ordinance.

Ah…playing the t.v. too loud! Or too many animals?

Uh…no. It’s an ordinance against neglected yards. The woman had refused for a year to water her lawn.
HUH? And they…?

Yeah…they did.

But it’s HER lawn!

Yeah…there’s a town without a lot on its collective mind, huh? Much like the rest of the country which insists pukey, manicured grass you have to water often is superior to nature’s own hardy, self-tending menu of wildflowers, dandelions, weeds, berries, new trees. Nope…we can’t have that stuff. That’s…well, natural. The last thing this country wants to be. ‘Cause in our twisted logic, natural’s not…well, natural. It leads to violating the nuisance ordinance.

Back in the days when I was only responsible for myself and had a job that paid well enough, I was able to indulge my attraction to mysticism.

Mystics hold that there is a deeper, more fundamental state of existence hidden beneath the appearances of day–to–day living (which may become, to the mystic, superficial or epiphenomenal). For the authentic mystic, unity is both the internal and external focus as one seeks the truth about oneself, one’s relationship to others and Reality (both the world at large and the unseen realm).

What a luxury that seems to me now, when day-to-day living is all that I have the energy to accomplish.
I think of this now because for many of those past years, I often joined a close friend of mine at workshops, seminars etc. that were based in the processes of the mystic, particularly as they attract creativity and artistic inspiration. Married and childless, she has gone on to teach some of these processes on the college level. Without responsibilities to any dependent, she can continue to explore the ideas and philosophies and spiritualities that well-known modern mystics such as Matthew Fox and Jean Houston continue to publicize. I think of this now because I had lunch several weeks ago with her and her husband as they passed through town.
I am at times envious of the luxury of time that she has – the luxury of being able to place a priority on her psychological and spiritual development, of not being the one grounding factor in a dependent person’s life, of having time to contemplate…..
I wonder, when I am done with the physical and emotional requirements of caregiving — after I have done with confronting, every day and night, the struggles of human life on its most elemental level, if I will again have that hunger for the expanding horizons that mysticism has to offer.
When I think of my life after this difficult piece of it, I think of moving to live near my daughter, spending lots of fun time with my grandson, doing the creative homey things I don’t have enough time to do now (sewing, knitting, cooking what I like), sitting under a tree and reading well-written fiction, visiting my women friends in Albany for days at a time. Getting in my car and visiting people I know up and down the East Coast. Spending February with my cousins in Florida.
I don’t think about taking workshops or mind-wrestling with the unknowables or mining more of my sub- and un-consciousnesses.
But, of course, you never know. The mystic in me might just be biding her time, waiting for the luxury of freedom.

The weblog doesn’t give any information about who is behind the site (and I wish it would), but the informational posts provide very useful information. I know that there are caregivers who read Kalilily Time and who might appreciate this relatively new blog.
This is what the site says about itself:

CareShare Network is primarily a platform for caregivers to communicate with each other, but every voice is welcomed in the dialogue. It provides commentaries, original articles and abstracts of caregiving- and related-news stories for its visitors. The platform is not just for news briefs and alerts but also for sharing, discussing and analyzing this important issue that affects an estimated 34 million people and their families in this country.

I planted at least a dozen asiatic lilies, the majority of which became snacks for the various squirrels, chipmunks, racoons, and groundhogs that populate our acres. There are three lilies in the back that are just beginning to bloom, and the one pictured above, which actually made it through to fruition.
But the battle for survival still goes on.

On this country’s most important holiday, I celebrate by sleeping. No independence here, as we are all imprisoned by my mother’s dementia.
Be sure to celebrate by going here and reading or listening to Keith Olbermann’s latest documentation of how our nation’s independent soul has been mangled by those who are supposed to lead us and protect us.
Next, think about this poem, from Jim Culleny’s daily poetry email:

And, finally, enjoy this reprint of Monday’s guest-poster MYRLN’s latest email to the White House.

Sent To: president@whitehouse.gov
Subject: July 4
Date Sent: 03 Jul 2007 08:24 PM

Dear George,

With Independence Day here tomorrow, I would like to report to you two people whom I believe are the most serious threat to our democracy in decades. I would report them to local authorities, but they couldn’t do anything about these 2, so I figured I would go straight to the top in the hopes you will act against them. Please do something to rid us of them both. The two of whom I speak are you and your vice-president.

There are lots of fireworks going on all over the country tonight. I’m hoping there will be some even more explosive fireworks soon that will blow those grifters out of the White House.

The following post is by non-blogger MYRLN, who guest-posts here every Monday.

The Power of One

And so we come to Independence Day — that anniversary of a nation’s freeing itself from the tyranny of an absolute monarchy. America threw off the English shackles. And that was that. No more subservience. Freedom reigned supreme. Forever. Period.

So we celebrate that day every year. We have parades, picnics, fireworks. Some even mention the Declaration of Independence. Some even read it, a few do so aloud. And that’s that. Then the next day, everyone goes back to work in service to the great god Economy and its co-deity, Government. Feeling good. We’ve just celebrated Independence Day. We’re Free.

Hm-m-m. Fought for once, Independence is ours forever. Hm-m-m. In the greater world, such has remained pretty much true for America. But what about WITHIN America? Are we, each and every one of us, free? Or have we forgotten that freedom must be protected individually, asserted regularly, or it will be lost…or taken away? We have those two greedy deities all too willing to strip us of our individual freedoms — those freedoms far more important than an entire nation’s freedom from tyranny. The freedom of ONE. The Individual.

And that freedom — the Individual’s — is the one which the dual deities of Economics and Government have sought to strip away. (Think cost of living, think taxes, think health care, think privacy, think outsourcing, think union-busting…oh, you get it.) Spying, detainment, surveillance, seizure, threat, fear — all sanctioned these days by the Dual Deities. And too much accepted without question. Resistance, after all, could be dangerous, lead to prison. Well…over a hundred years ago, the great individualist, Henry David Thoreau, was thrown in jail for refusing to pay taxes, refusing to recognize the right of Government to levy a tariff on his existence. Afterwards, he wrote (in his “Civil Disobedience”) how the punishment was totally ineffective because the only thing Government jailed was his body. His spirit, his sense of INDEPENDENCE remained free. It could not be jailed. Government, he wrote, “can have no pure right over my person and property but what I concede to it.” And he continued, “There will never be a free and enlightened State, until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power.”

But only the Individual can ultimately cause that recognition, insure its presence.

So this year, as you superficially celebrate Independence Day, take stock. Read the Declaration of Independence. Read the Constitution. (Don’t have copies? Why not?) Then take a good hard look at your individual independence, remembering that the stripping away of each individual’s freedom means that eventually the entire nation’s independence will be gone. Taken away by the hands of those like Dumbya Bush and Darth Cheney and Wall Street moguls who think only in terms of their moneyed interests. All individual freedom gradually lost with our meek and subservient individual compliance.
But you have the power to make this a real Independence Day again. If you use it. As the forefathers did 231 years ago.

Make it happen.

I was pleased to see that, after spraying my plants in the back yard with the garlic/peppermint spray that I buy at the local Agway, the groundhog has left them alone. Of course, I have to re-spray every time it rains.
I went outside in the front yard today to see that the little beast had chewed up the flowers and leaves on my begonia, impatiens, and geraniums. I neglected to spray those after the last rain. If I’m here next summer, I will choose plants that rodents of all sizes don’t like to eat.
Unlike the groundhog’s, my mother’s appetite comes and goes. I know that she doesn’t drink enough liquids, but I can’t force them down her throat. Last night she woke up very hot, even though her room was cool. We were up for hours putting cold wet towels all over her body until her skin cooled down. She was dead-weight out-of-it through the whole ordeal. I know that the hypothalmus in the brain regulates body temperature. I’m wondering if the episode was just another indication that her brain is in the process of malfunctioning and has begun to take her body with it.
She seems OK (that’s a relative term when it comes to her) today. So far. Now, while she’s sleeping, I’ll go out and spray those munched plants. Sort of like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped, but I just hate to let the critter have what’s left.

First of all, the Alzheimer’s med Namenda seems to be stabilizing my mom’s mood swings, making her less confrontational, more cooperative, and less paranoid. And she only takes half the usual dosage, which is 20 mg. I’ve got my fingers crossed that it continues to work.
She’s been having irritable bowel symptoms, and I was pretty sure that coffee was one of the biggest irritants. She loves coffee — would have five or six cups a day if it were up to her. Decaf was not the answer, since it’s not only the caffeine that’s the problem in coffee; it’s the acids as well. The last link is part of a site that sells a coffee substitute, which might have worked for her but it needs to be made like regular coffee. It doesn’t come in an instant version, and, being a tea drinker, I don’t even own a coffee maker.
Well, at my mom’s age (91) taste buds aren’t as sharp as they used to be. I tried to find the old time Postum in my local supermakets, but they don’t carry it. After a bit of Googling, I found something called Inka, a coffee substitute apparently drunk by Polish people, but I couldn’t get their site to accept my order. So I opted for Dandy Blend, Instant Dandelion Beverage, which has pretty much the same ingredients and also includes dandelion root. Not only is dandelion an herbal remedy for various problems that she has, Dandy Blend also is make of up various grains that provide soluble fiber.
I ordered a small can several weeks ago, and she loves it. I went and ordered two more big ones. While she still gets some irritation in her intestines, it’s nowhere near the pain she would get before Dandy Blend. Die hard coffee drinkers wouldn’t go anywhere Dandy Blend; it doesn’t have the strong aroma or taste. But it works for her.
OK. That’s two problems of caregiving for his particular elderly woman that I was able to solve.
Now, the clothes thing. Last night I unearthed a snap-front knit robe that we forgot she had, made by Shadowline Lingerie. I linked to their site and found this snap-front knit bed jacket that she can wear as a blouse now, and a bed jacket later if she needs one. It’s on sale, so I ordered one for her in blue.
So, Maria, at Small Change, who left a comment on my previous post, might want to take a look at that item.
Now, if I can only figure out a way to stop that groundhog from eating up my echinacea leaves, I would feel cared for. Someone suggested fox urine. Right now I’m spraying my flowers with a natural garlic/peppermint spray that’s supposed to repel squirrels. I think it repels my cat too, because she doesn’t like going out after I sprayed. Maybe it will work on the groundHOG!

My mom has shrunk out of most of her clothes (most of which she’s owned for the past forty or so years). On top of that, the fabrics tend not to be wash-and-wear, a quality that we both need her clothes to have for different reasons.
Many really elderly people, including my mom, have thick waistlines. Some also have osteoporosis, which means their upper backs are rounded and so clothes with no “give” are uncomfortable. Some also have arthritis, so it becomes difficult to put clothes on over their heads. And they often have sensitive skin that irritates easily. My mom, for example, has all of those issues.
But just try to find
1. pull-on knit pants with elastic waists that DO NOT constrict and pockets (for all that Kleenex)
2. knit “blouses” with longer sleeves and snaps instead of buttons.
3. any “adaptive” clothes that are NOT in garish prints, primary colors, iron-necessary cotton, decorated with appliqued bunnies, and totally frumpy.
i wind up doctoring up whatever clothing I can find that might fit her and her current lifestyle. For example, I found cotton knit pique button front polo shirts, but they had short sleeves. So I cut the lower part of the sleeves from some of her old blouses and sewed them on to make the short sleeves longer. Of course, I have to help her button the buttons, but at least she doesn’t have go through the painful motions of raising her arms to put on an overhead knit shirt.
I have to undo the waistband of every pair of knit pants I get her so that I can add pieces of elastic and make the waist comfortable for her. She has a problem with underpants being too tight on the waist as well. I wind up snipping the elastic, and eventually the whole garment unravels.
With so many of us somewhat vain women quickly ascending into that “very old” category, I think it’s time for an entrepreneurial designer of women’s clothing to start designing attractive, easy-care, soft knit separates (and also nightgowns) that women in their 80s and 90s can actually manage to put on and take off without going through painful contortions.
How about
— jersey knit blouses with snaps in the front and sleeves that are loose and at least 3/4
— pull-on knit pants that don’t bag at the knees and with elastic waists that are adjustable
— soft, knit nightgowns and robes that snap down the front
I’ve finally gotten my mother to wear pants instead of dresses. which she — still attached to the styles of the 50s — prefers. So now, she doesn’t have to worry about pantyhose or shoes that look good with dresses (and she does worry about that).
Of, right. Shoes. Don’t get me going of finding comfortable soft leather shoes with flexible soles that also provide support!