When I have time, I read a variety of web sites and blogs, each for a different reason. Two of my favorite non-blog sites these days seem to reflect the yin and the yang of my personality, each grounding me on either end of the spectrum of my passions and interests.
If you check in here frequently, you must have noticed that I post poems that Jim Culleny sends out daily in emails. While Jim’s site, No Utopia, started out as a blog, it has been transformed into an “Op Ed” type site that is a great place, not only to pick up tidbits of news and notions that work well as fodder for further blog postings but also to read insightful, creatively written, and painfully pointed commentary, sometimes his own and sometimes what he quotes from other sources.
This from Jim’s take on the new Hessians:

Now, thanks to the recurring cycles of time and history, the ways of politics, and the surly nature of god, I’m blessed with 1st-hand knowledge of what Miss Altenhaus was trying to tell me. The Hessians were hired guns –German mercenaries employed by the British to defeat the Americans. But the scent I was getting off the Hessians had to do with the “hired gun” part. Ok, ok, Miss Altenhause, I get it. Today we call our Hessians, Blackwater –an apt identity if ever their was one.

And on evolution

Why is it more scandalous to take the position that we evolved through natural selection than that we got here via incestous relationships among Adam’s and Eve’s offspring?

Beats me.

And this as he quotes Andrew Sullivan on Hillary Clinton:

The conservative Washington Establishment is swooning for Hillary for a reason. The reason is an accommodation with what they see as the next source of power (surprise!); and the desire to see George W. Bush’s invasion and occupation of Iraq legitimated and extended by a Democratic president (genuine surprise). Hillary is Bush’s ticket to posterity. On Iraq, she will be his legacy. They are not that dissimilar after all: both come from royal families, who have divvied up the White House for the past couple of decades. They may oppose one another; but they respect each other as equals in the neo-monarchy that is the current presidency.

In addition, Jim occasionally offers the wisdoms of “Roshi Bob,” an illusive man-of-the-moment, described by Jim here.
So, that’s the yang of it.
As for the yin, wisewoman writer and elderbogger Marian Van Eyk McCain has a site that calls to the heart of women old enough to know. On her site, you will find:

A meeting place for women of age, maturity and wisdom.
A source of inspiration for women in – or about to enter – their ‘Third Age’
A node in a vast, international network of wise women, spanning the globe
A forum for discussion – a place to voice your thoughts on aging and “sage-ing”
An advertisement for the simple life – a rediscovery of the sacred in the ordinary
An oasis on the spiritual journey
Marian also has a personal weblog that gives us glimpses into her day to day life.
What I really like most, however, is the Elderwoman Newsletter, “an e-zine for 21st century elderwomen committed to radical aliveness.”

….to the doctor’s this afternoon…mom is running a temperature, is congested. I think it’s a sinus infection because she has a major post nasal drip and she says her eyes, ears, and even her teeth hurt.
No one here has gotten much sleep the last couple of nights, but we didn’t want to take her to the emergency room because every time we do, it’s an unbelievable trauma for her, both physically and mentally.
Geriatric patients need to be treated differently from younger patients, especially if they have dementia. I am wondering why hospitals don’t have geriatric wards. After all, they do have pediatric wards, and the special emotional needs of young children are pretty similar to those of very old adults.
I don’t know if the doctor will put her in the hospital, but I’m prepared if he does. I have copies of her medical cards and prescription drug lists packed as well as Excedrin for me. (Also, snacks, drinks, and books and knitting.) Whenever she’s in the hospital, we stay there with her, even if we have to camp out in the waiting room.
I want to post about our day at the marvelous Mohonk Mountain House, but that will have to wait.
Right now, we’re off and running, keeping her temperature down, propping her up so she can breathe, preparing for a few days not being here if that becomes the case. Chances are he will give her meds and send her home. I’m just concerned because she often refuses to swallow pills these days. Maybe he can give her liquid versions.
Just like for a child.
UPDATE:
— No hospital, just a liquid antibiotic.
— We also found out through an MRI, that she has a torn rotator cuff. Surgery is out of the question. We are looking into alternatives.
— And now she seems to have an eye infection, so the next doc visit will be the opthamologist.
— And then a CAT scan of her head to see if her headaches have anything to to with her brain. It should also tell us how much of her brain has atrophied.
Like Emily Dickinson, but for different reasons, my “…Life is over there — Behind the Shelf..”, behind the stacked boxes of yarn and rounded willow branches, between Wallace Stevens Collected Poems and The Shadow of the Shaman, under the Women’s Book of Healing and The Book of Lilith, under the Pilates Power Ring and two dusty five pound weights, buried under pots of plants that need to be tended before the snows come.
Being the prime caregiver for someone with physical ailments is hard enough. Add the dementia roller coaster onto that, and Life gets shelved for long periods of time.
Except when I sneak in a few minutes to play Scrabulous on Facebook with a few blog buddies.
Or blog.

The following post is by MYRLN, a non-blogger who is Kalilily’s guest writer every Monday.
ONCE UPON A…..
We should pay as much attention to our falling nation as we do to autumn leaves.
As our country sinks slowly in the west, but — unlike the sun — with no promise of rising again tomorrow, we Americans pretty much sit around sipping a drink of ho-hum. We watch the disappearance being successfully engineered by a barely intelligent president (hell-bent on resuming the Crusades) and a box-brained veep who lives in a closet somewhere and only comes out at night (not really). That such a twosome is successfully dismantling the country is all the more astonishing. How can they be succeeding? Where are the checks and balances? Well…they’ve all failed to do their job because Americans largely haven’t insisted they do so. Like the civically lazy lardasses we’ve become, we’ve simply let go of our country from our grip.
Congress? Hah…corporate tools.
Media? Hah-hah. Also corporate and largely racing to reach tabloid dominance.
Citizen protests? Too much work, and besides, they’d be labeled as terrorism cuz we let this administration define everything in any manner it likes and we buy it — cuz we don’t wanna be unpatriotic.
Okay, then how about that worldwide, 21st century tool, the Internet? Works great for users to reach each other, work up ideas and plans. Unfortunately, it also keeps most indoors, physically isolated from each other. And even 10 million emails to the White House amount to nothing. They’re only a giant-sized Delete button away from extinction. Seven years of stasis supports the truth of that.
In another day and age, with a different kind of mentality with a sense of civic responsibility, the streets would have long ago been clogged with protestors almost every day. Media would have told the government to stuff its lies and evasions and coverage rules and would be hounding every government official trying to hide from the transparency the public is owed; photos of flag-draped coffins returning from Iraq would be published daily for our eyes to see and our hearts to wince and our courage to grow. Congressional electees and staffs would have to choose between their corporate masters and saying the truth to a dogged media or to persistent gangs of protesters clogging their every path.
Sound like a fairy tale? Okay, let’s make it one…or at the least the start of one.
Once upon a time, there was a country that built itself on the amazing premise that its governance belonged to the people, not to some king or dictator or pea-brained despot. For a long time, that country flourished under that new approach of liberty and justice. Then one day…
You finish it.

I will post about our day at the Mohonk Mountain House after I rest up from a weekend navigating the inner workings of the well-know sandwich between my 91 year old mom, who has caught a bad cold, and my funny and energetic five-year old grandson.
This is him thoroughly enjoying the strawberries that he dipped in the chocolate fountain and covered with whipped cream at the famous Mohonk (and, yes, expensive) Sunday Brunch. He’s wearing the tie dyed t-shirt that I bought him at the Groovy Blueberry and mugging for the camera with his chocolate covered mouth.

I will post more after I download the rest of the photos and have a chance to REST!!

Tomorrow, my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson are coming to visit for a couple of nights. My mom, who rallied a little today, is looking forward to seeing them. I’m hoping she hangs onto her awareness long enough to go out to dinner with us on Saturday and to brunch on Sunday at the Mohonk Mountain House — a treat for all of us who have never been there (mostly because it’s outrageously expensive). I heard that Alan Alda and friends helicoptered up to there for his last birthday party.
I’m treating us all because we deserve it. Especially me.

The BBC podcast on atheism brought home several points for me that I suppose I should have already realized.
Atheists can be as obnoxiously fundamentalist and militant as any religious zealots. I think that in my 20s, 30s and 40s, I was borderline obnoxious and confrontational about my lack of “faith.” While I’ve become even more convinced that my atheist position is appropriately valid, I have become more tolerant of those who don’t agree with me. See, maybe wisdom does come with age.
My contributions to the BBC discussion ended about a third of the way through the program, but I was rather pleased to hear other, later, participants refer to things that I said.
Some of the more militant atheists insist that the world would be a better place without religions, since so much of the historical intolerance, genocide, hate, war, and persecution were (and are) done in the name of one religion or another.
In general, I don’t disagree with that position, but I also recognize that there is a need in many people for the solace and purpose that religion can offer, a way to feel more secure in what otherwise can seem a random and chaotic universe. So, I doubt if there’s any chance of ridding this world of its various religions.
What would help considerably, however, is if religion became something personal instead of institutional; if each individual understood about the range of belief and (non-belief) systems on this planet that provide a “moral compass;” if each individual could choose the ethical/moral system of beliefs that work for her or him and not have one imposed by culture or family.
One discussion participant taught in a Jewish elementary school, and when asked if it would be possible to enable children to learn about other religions as part of the school curriculum, the teacher responded in the negative.
The purpose of Catholic schools and Jewish schools etc., is to indoctrinate children with the dogma of the religious sect while they are also being taught the academic subjects. I should know. I went to Catholic schools from kindergarten through high school. We had a required course in “Apologetics” so that we could defend our religious positions to non-believers.
I think we can assume that each family has the right to teach its children the values, beliefs, and culture that the family holds dear. No government should interfere with that right of every parent.
And it is in the schools that children should learn about other religions, other mythologies, other cultures. They should be encouraged to question and think critically and come to conclusions that take into account their own personal hunger for spiritual nourishment, their appetites for awe, and their need to feel connected to something greater than themselves.
Personally, as an atheist, all of those yearnings, for me, are satisfied by the awesomeness of the natural world, the complexities of human creativity, and the drama and mysteries that science continuous to reveal. This world, this life, is enough. I long ago discovered that notions of god get in the way of living and loving authentically and honestly.
One of the atheists in the discussion offered a challenge something like this (and I’m paraphrasing):
Can you name an ethical statement or moral action done by a believer that any non-believer couldn’t make as well. He maintains that you can’t.
Can you name a wicked action or wicked statement undertaken by a believer that any unbeliever could make. He maintains that you can’t.
Think about it.
I remain, godless on this awesome mountain.

She has stopped eating unless I feed her (except for coffee and homemade sweet bread) and she sleeps almost all of the time. And she doesn’t talk. And she cries.
Yesterday, I got her to tell me why she was crying. “I’m afraid,” she muttered, devoid of energy, of purpose. She was sitting at the kitchen table, slumped over and still.
“Are you afraid of dying?” I ask. She nods. “Are you afraid of being alone? I ask again because she used to articulate this fear often. She continues to nod, her eyes half closed and unfocused.
“Mom?” I say, trying to get her attention, getting on my knees to try to look into her eyes.
“Mom,” I continue, you don’t have to be afraid of being alone. If you think you’re dying, remember that everyone in your family is up in heaven waiting for you. Your mother and father [she’s begun calling for her momma], your husband, all of your brothers and sisters. They are all there waiting for you. You won’t be alone.”
Of course, I don’t believe any of that, but she does, and that’s what’s important. In younger years, I would argue vehemently with my parents about my unbelief. That was then.
I see her take a breath.
“And if you keep living, you are not alone here either,” I add. ” I am here. Your son is here. You granddaughter and her family are coming to visit you this weekend. We all love you and you are not alone.”
She slumps in her chair.
“Do you want to go back to sleep,” I ask.
She nods.
She sleeps.
My brother refuses to believe that it’s possible for a body that is more than 91 years old to just wear down, wear out. He wants her to get her blood tested, get a CAT scan of her head, which she is often rubbing on the right side. He wants something else to be wrong. Something than can be fixed.
I am ready to let her go. I think she is ready to let go. He does not want to let her go.
She cries.

A poignant hope of a poem, one of Jim Culleny’s daily poetry sends:
Fat is Not a Fairytail
Jane Yolen
I am thinking of a fairy tale,
Cinder Elephant,
Sleeping Tubby,
Snow Weight,
where the princess is not
anorexic, wasp-waisted,
flinging herself down the stairs.
I am thinking of a fairy tale,
Hansel and Great,
Repoundsel,
Bounty and the Beast,
where the beauty
has a pillowed breast,
and fingers plump as sausage.
I am thinking of a fairy tale
that is not yet written,
for a teller not yet born,
for a listener not yet conceived,
for a world not yet won,
where everything round is good:
the sun, wheels, cookies, and the princess.

As a result of my previous post about atheism, BBC radio contacted me and asked me to be part of the broadcast debate on “should children be brought up without religion?”
They asked me to make the first statement, which, of course, I was glad, but not prepared, to do. I didn’t know who the other debaters would be, and it turned out that most were clerics, scholars, writers, heads of organizations, both religious and atheist, from all over the world. They kept bringing on new debaters and siphoning off some of us earlier ones.
The program might be repeated and/or it might be on podcast. You can check it out here, where the best comment left, as far as I’m concerned, is #14.
ADDENDUM:
You can listen to the broadcast or download it here.

“Do you still have ‘faith’?” she asked the two of us who were sitting on either side of her at our table.
“No,” I answered. Just that. No.
Under other circumstances, I might have carried on about my perspective on the value of godlessness, my decades-long exploration of what some call the world of the spirit, my opinionated take on the evils of organized religion. But for the two other women, who had suffered the tragedy of losing young adult children to the fickleness of fate, the loss of their faith was something much more personal and much more painful.
Tonight on NBC Nightly News, Brian Williams ended his program with a piece that indicated atheism is on the rise.
The Washington Post also had a article a few days ago that begins with this:

BURGESS HILL, England — Every morning on his walk to work, high school teacher Graham Wright recited a favorite Anglican prayer and asked God for strength in the day ahead. Then two years ago, he just stopped.

Wright, 59, said he was overwhelmed by a feeling that religion had become a negative influence in his life and the world. Although he once considered becoming an Anglican vicar, he suddenly found that religion represented nothing he believed in, from Muslim extremists blowing themselves up in God’s name to Christians condemning gays, contraception and stem cell research.

Wright is now an avowed atheist and part of a growing number of vocal nonbelievers in Europe and the United States. On both sides of the Atlantic, membership in once-quiet groups of nonbelievers is rising, and books attempting to debunk religion have been surprise bestsellers, including “The God Delusion,” by Oxford University professor Richard Dawkins.

New groups of nonbelievers are sprouting on college campuses, anti-religious blogs are expanding across the Internet, and in general, more people are publicly saying they have no religious faith.

Another Washington Post article includes these statements:

Focusing fresh attention on atheism in the United States was the publication last week of a book about Mother Teresa that lays out her secret struggle with her doubts about God. “Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light” has led some high-profile atheists to say that her spiritual wavering was actually atheism.

“She couldn’t bring herself to believe in God, but she wished she could,” said Christopher Hitchens, a Washington-based columnist and author of “God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything,” the latest atheist bestseller.

[snip]

Nontheist is another term for atheist, or someone who does not believe in a supreme being.

A study released in June by the Barna Group, a religious polling firm, found that about 5 million adults in the United States call themselves atheists. The number rises to about 20 million — about one in every 11 Americans — if people who say they have no religious faith or are agnostic (they doubt the existence of a God or a supreme deity) are included.

I deprogrammed myself from my Catholic brainwashing soon after I set foot in my first college philosophy course. At the same time I was losing religion, my roommate was converting to Catholicism because she was marrying a Catholic. I remember going with her to a Newman Club meeting, where I asked the chaplain: “If I live life as a good, compassionate, caring person but I don’t believe in god, will I go to hell?”
Of course, his answer was “No, but….”
I never heard the rest of his answer because I left the room, recognizing the conundrum of my question and not expecting an answer that made any more sense than “faith.”
My children were brought up godless and good, and they remain so. As do I. Well, the godless part, anyway.
Go here for an overview of the godless in America.