she wants to sleep with her shoes on, afraid that someone will steal them. she hides dozens of pairs of shoes in her clothes hamper, so there’s nowhere to put her dirty clothes. you throw them on the floor in the shower.
she’s looking for the books you bought her — large print — hoping she’ll occupy herself reading. she occupies herself moving the books from place to place, hiding them so no one will steal them. when she can’t find them, she’s convinced that someone has.
you buy her wide width shoes that will not aggravate the hammertoe that she’s been aggravating for years. she insists on wearing her too-narrow but prettier shoes. in a few days, she’ll start limping, complaining that her toe hurts. aggravation aggravation.
you find the TV listings that you’ve been looking for all day in her underwear drawer. her eyeglasses are perpetually misplaced. you finally convince her to take off her shoes. she hides them and will accuse you tomorrow of taking them.
by bedtime, your head is splitting from aggravation. you go online and buy yourself a sexy pair of summer sandals — too expensive but somehow shoepremely satisfying.


as archy the cockroach says:
live so that you
can stick out your tongue
at the insurance doctor

I’m talking about the closing statement that Boston Legal’s Alan Shore made at the trial of a young woman who didn’t pay her taxes because she’s “embarrassed” by and objects to Bush’s war on the Iraqi people.
This is the part I love:

….And now it’s been discovered the executive branch has been conducting massive, illegal, domestic surveillance on its own citizens. You and me. And I at least consoled myself that finally, finally the American people will have had enough. Evidentally, we haven’t.
In fact, if the peole of this country have spoken, the message is we’re okaywith it all. Torture, warrantless search and seizure, illegal wiretappings, prison without a fair trial – or any trial – war on false pretenses. We, as a citizenry, are apparently not offended.
There are no demonstrations on college campuses. In fact, there’s no clear indication that young people seem to notice.
Well, Melissa Hughes noticed. Now, you might think, instead of withholding her taxes, she could have protested the old fashioned way. Made a placard and demonstrated at a Presidential or Vice-Presidential appearance, but we’ve lost the right to that as well. The Secret Service can now declare free speech zones to contain, control and, in effect, criminalize protest…..
[snip]
This, in the United States of America. This in the United States of America. Is Melissa Hughes the only one embarassed?….
With subtly intense acting, James Spader gives Alan Shore’s words a terrifying vibrancy that reading his words on paper can’t possible convey. If you missed the episode, you can hear and see it here; if you don’t have the technical ability to do so, go to the Boston Legal site and read the whole thing.
There aren’t very many television programs worth watching these days. Boston Legal is one of the very few — for its cleverly courageous writing, its pointedly peculiar characters, and a cast of actors that know how to make you believe.

She gets in the “zone” as she works on her fabric art, she says, and all of a sudden six hours have gone by, she says, and it seems like a minute. My friend, who used to be an original quilter but for the past several years has been experimenting with other fabric art techniques, is working on a nude, she says.
We are having lunch, the bunch of us who have hung around together for more than 15 years. I have managed to get away for a day, and we sit around the table sharing tales of grandchildren (those of us who are fortunate to have any) and male partners (those of us who are fortunate to have any). We trash Bush and his whole regime, bemoan what’s happening to our country, discount Hillary as a contender, and decide that the next president will probably wind up being a moderate Republican. We all prefer a Democrat but agree that there’s no one who can win.
On the drive home, I yearn for a chance to rediscover my “zone.” I used to find it writing poetry, designing something out of fabric — sometimes clothes, sometimes what might or might not pass for art. Playing with beads and findings and talismans. Creating. Something. Hours and hours that felt like minutes. Filled with focus. In the Zone.
Now if I want to have those hours, I’d have to stay up all night. It used to be so simple.
My friends, those witchy women, are not at all simple. With each of us off on her own path, our daily lives are very different. What binds us is shared history, liberal politics, acceptance of our differences, fearlessness in the face of life’s challenges, and a shared understanding that things are never simple.
Molly Ivins found this quote in a recent obituary for George Gerbner, who headed the Annenberg School for Communication for 25 years: “Fearful people are more dependent, more easily manipulated and controlled, more susceptible to deceptively simple, strong, tough measures and hard-line postures. … They may accept and even welcome repression if it promises to relieve their insecurities.”
Molly Ivins is frequently featured on www.freepress.org, where this cartoon by Andrew Wahl also appears.

It was wonderful to hear about all of the anti-Iraq War protesters throughout the world this past weekend. We all need to keep reminding those fearful, insecure, simple souls who still believe the Bush propaganda, just what his war is costing. Here are some simple statistics:
Spent & approved to spend in Iraq $350 billion of US taxpayers’ money, plus another $120 billion requested in February 2006
Lost & Unaccounted for in Iraq $9 billion of US taxpayers’ money and $549.7 milion in spare parts shipped in 2004 to US contractors
Halliburton Overcharges and Questioned Costs Publicly Known to be Hidden by the Pentagon from Auditors $212 million
Troops Total 157,000, including 136,000 from the US, 8,500 from the UK, and 12,500 from all other nations (other than Iraq)
US Troop Casualities 2,290 US troops; 98% male.
89% non-officers; 76% active duty, 15% National Guard; 74% white, 10% African-American, 11% Latino. 22% killed by non-hostile causes. 52% of US casualties were under 25 years old. 69% were from the US Army.
Non-US Troop Casualties Total 204, with 101 from the UK.
US Troops Wounded 16,742, 20% of which are serious brain or spinal injuries (total excludes psychological injuries)
US Troops with Serious Mental Health Problems 30% of US troops develop serious mental health problems within 3 to 4 months of returning home
Journalists killed 61
Journalists killed by US Forces 14
Iraqi Military and Police Casualties 4,162
Iraqi Civilians Killed, Estimated 40,300 to 81,700
Iraqi Insurgents Killed, Roughly Estimated 53,470
Non-Iraqi Contractors and Civilian Workers Killed 365
Non-Iraqi Kidnapped 280, including 45 killed, 141 released, 3 escaped, 3 rescued and 88 status unknown.
US Military Helicopters Downed in Iraq 47 total, 26 by enemy fire
Daily insurgent attacks, Feb 2004 14
Daily insurgent attacks, July 2005 70
Daily insurgent attacks, January 2006 75
Trained Iraqi Troops Needed by July 2006 272,566
Trained Iraqi Troops, Per General Richard Meyers in March 2005 40,000
Trained Iraqi Troops, Per US Senator Joseph Biden in March 2005 4,000
Trained Iraqi Troops, Per US Ambassador to Iraq Zalmay Khalilzad in August 2005 “Not very large.”
Trained Iraqi Troops Able to Fight Without Major US Support, in February 2006 {/b}Zero
Iraqi Unemployment Rate 25 to 60%
Average Daily Hours Iraqi Homes Have Electricity 10.0
Average Daily Hours Baghdad Homes Have Electricity 5.2
Number of Iraqi Homes Connected to Sewer Systems 37%
Percentage of Iraqi HOme with Access to Piped Water 78%
Hepatitis Outbreaks 2002, 100; 2003, 170; 2004, 200.
World Bank Estimate of Iraq Reconstruction Costs $55.3 billion
Results of Poll Taken in Iraq in August 2005 by the British Ministry of Defense (Source: Brookings Institute)
Iraqis “strongly opposed to presence of coalition troops – 82%
Iraqis who believe Coalition forces are responsible for any improvement in security – less than 1%
Iraqis who feel less ecure because of the occupation – 67%
Iraqis who do not have confidence in multi-national forces – 72%
Iraqis who rarely have safe, clean water – 71%
Iraqis who never have enough electricity – 47%
_________________________
Well, my life might be lacking a Zone, but I’d rather lack one than live in a War one.
and then there’s this, from
certain maxims of archy
if you get gloomy just
take an hour off and sit
and think how
much better this world
is than hell
of course it won t cheer
you up much if
you expect to go there
—archy the cockroach

Archy is a cockroach created in the 1930s by Don Marquis, who explains:
We came into our room earlier than usual in the morning, and discovered a gigantic cockroach jumping about upon the keys.
He did not see us, and we watched him. He would climb painfully upon the framework of the machine and cast himself with all his force upon a key, head downward and his weight and the impact ot the blow were just sufficient to operate the machine, one slow letter after another. He could not work the capital letters, and he had a great deal of difficulty operting the mechanism that shifts the paper so that a fresh line may be started…..
I copied this excerpt from b!X’s birthday present to me — a 1940 hard cover editon of the lives and times of archy and mehitabel. Mehitabel, one of Archy’s closest friends, is an alley cat who claims she was Cleopatra in a past life. I often quote from the Song of Mehitabel — “there’s a dance in the old dame yet.”
Archy’s writings, all in lower case with no punctuation marks (because he can’t use the “shift” key on the typewriter, having only the ability to pounce on one key at a time) include lots of commentary about life in America, which apparently hasn’t changed much since the 30s and 40s. For example:
what the ants are saying
no insect likes human beings
and if you think you can see why
the only reason i tolerate you is because
you seem less human to me than most of them
it wont be long now it wont be long
man is making deserts of the earth
it wont be long now
before man will have used it up
so that nothing but ants
and centipedes and scorpions
can find a living on it
man has oppressed us for a million years
but he goes on steadily
cutting the ground from under
his own feet making deserts deserts deserts
what man calls civilization
always results in deserts
men talk of money and industry
of hard times and recoveries
of finance and economics
but the ants wait and the scorpions wait
for while men talk they are making deserts all the time
getting the world ready for the conquering ant
drought and erosion and desert
because men cannot learn
it wont be long now It won’t be long
till earth is barren as the moon
and sapless as a mumbled bone
dear boss i relay this information
without any fear that humanity
will take warning and reform
I encountered Archy and Mehitabel sometime in the early 60s in a chapbook-type publication with pieces mostly about Mehitabel. I think I originally picked it up because of the illustrations by George Herriman, who did the Krazy Kat cartoons I remember from my youth.
There’s a lot of hokey wisdom in Archie’s words, and a lot of brave attitude in Mehitabel’s stories. Like the one that goes:
[snip]
one life up and the next life
down archy but always a lady
through it all and a
good mixer too always the
life of the party archy but never
anything vulgar always free footed
archy never tied down to
a job or housework yes looking
back on it all i can say is
i had some romantic
lives and some elegant times i
have seen better days archy but
whats the use of kicking kid its
all in the game like a gentleman
friend of mine used to say
toujours gai kid toujours gai he
was an elegant cat he used
to be a poet himself and he made up
some elegant poetry about me and him
lets hear it i said and
mehitabel recited
persian pussy from over the sea
demure and lazy and smug and fat
none of your ribbons and bells for me
ours is the zest of the alley cat
over the roofs from flat to flat
we prance with capers corybantic
what though a boost should break a slat
mehitabel us for the life romantic
[snip]
toujours gai

I’m talking about bloggers who, as individuals on this planet, you would never get to meet in this lifetime — people from other countries, other cultures. There are several such blogger/friends listed in my blogroll.
This time it’s John Baker, who stumbled on Kalilily Time as he was cruising around Techorati. HIs weblog is exactly what he says it is: reflections of a working writer and reader. And a working writer he is, with eight novels already in print: he’s also a working member of the “Murder Squad”! (Love the photo on that link.)
His wife, Anna, is a talented photographer, and you might want to check out her site as well. Her joint project called “Real Estate” involves coloured photographs of traditional allotment sheds. Structures that appear as the result of anarchic creativity. Click on the “Allotment Sheds” link on her site for some imagaes of these “rampant and haphazard”… “conglomerations of recycled materials, windows, carpets, old doors, corrugated iron, parts of ancient fencing, wire mesh, wooden laths, and swathes of plastic sheeting.”
And that’s the way it goes. Links, leading to links, leading to new finds, new friends.

Today is my birthday, and I begin celebrating it early this morming when my grandson knocks on the bedroom door where I’m sleeping, asks if he can come in, and when I say yes, skips in and cheerily chants, “Happy Birthday Grammy!” I’m not used to getting up so early, but the sun is shining, I went to bed early, and I’m far away from responsibilities. Perfect.
My daughter and son in law give me a pot of miniature calla lilies to plant in my garden. b!X calls from the Great Northwest.
My Ex emails my daughter with a birthday message for me:
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
You’re thrity years o-o-ld
For the thirty-sixth time.
He tells my that my sun-circling miles in 66 years, including Leap Days, now is at 38,762,448,000 miles. That’s billions and billions and billions.
Yup, there’s a lot of miles on this not-so-frail frame. And still miles to go before I sleep. But it’s the best birthday I’ve had in years.
This afternoon, we all sit together on the front steps and bask in the early spring warmth. Tonight, we’re having chocolate rasberry mousse for dessert. Life is good.
Except when my mother calls, upset because she can’t find the jewelry I know that she was wearing when I left. My sibling looks in all of my mom’s closets and drawers and purses. Even her pillowcase. No luck. I say look in her shoes, under the stack of bathroom towels. I don’t know where they are. I’ll look when I get back. She’ll just have to wait.
I’ve waited long enough for this recuperative visit. And it’s not lasting nearly long enough.

That’s the little wizard I’m talking about. The one with the magical laugh.
I’ll be back next week. Unless, of course, something unforseen happens here on the mountain.

OK, so if you got an offer for a credit card in the USPS mail that looked like the above, along with a letter offering “free breast implants with every card” and “free lip injections for every friend that you refer,” what would you think?
Would you think someone is playing a joke on you or would you take it seriously? Maybe even consider the offer?
If you’re like me, you get so many credit card offers in the mail every day that you just rip them up and throw them away as soon as you get them. But what if you took a minute to look at this one?
On the other hand, what if you found yourself on a website making the same offer — a website that lists a bank’s name, has a contact number, and an official application that you can fill out and submit?
Hmm, you might think. This looks legit. But, no, how can it be legit? But it’s got a designed web page and all the links on it that it should have. Nah! But what if it is? How could they make that kind of offer?
It’s odd, isn’t it, that we are more likely to believe what we see on the Internet than what we get in the regular mail. It’s odd. And it’s scary.
In this case, if one does a little digging, one discovers that you can also get to the same website using this URL, which is indicates a relationship to The Huffington Post. That says it all.
On the other hand, The Huffington Post has a link to a actual service that offers “the top political books summarized down to eight concise pages.” Really. For (a tax-deductible) $14.95 a month, you get one summary a week. Now I had to think twice about accepting that as legit. But it is.
It’s scary not to be sure what’s real and what’s not. Breasts included.
Maybe P.T. Barnum never said it, but it’s still true.

One of the most discouraging morsels of news in recent days is that President Bush was so enchanted by Michael Crichton’s novel purportedly debunking global warming that he asked Crichton to the White House to chat with him. HELP! Why can’t we ever get a break? Think what would happen if the president read the “The Da Vinci Code.”
So says the unsinkable Molly Ivins in her latest column on www.freepress.org as she takes a few on target swipes at the incompetence of the Bush administration and the continuing Pentagon-Halliburton corruption.

Ahh! I’ve resurfaced. I can breathe again. I can blog again.
Well, OK. It wasn’t a catstrophe on a scale with a tsunami, but b!X’s server, on which this weblog resides, crashed last week, sending Kalilily Time into the virtual void — along with my email address that is associated with it.
There’s a part of me that can’t help thinking it has something to do with the hundreds of spam comments I get every day that I try to go in and delete before I go to bed each night. If this torrent of comment spam continues, I might have to have a registration process for commentors — something that I’m loathe to do because there are at least three old posts of mine that are still obviously relevant to people I don’t know; steady streams of strangers are still keeping the conversations going.
Meanwhile, here at the real world, we are taking my mom to the doctor’s tomorrow because we think that her internal bleeding might have recurred. I have plans to drive out and visit my grandson next week. Right.
At this moment, she is watching American Idol with my brother; I have just finished watching Countdown. Now there’s a metaphor for this family.
I keep looking out the window at yet another snow covered scene. It’s March! Spring should be beginning to spring!
Because my server was down, I posted at Blogsisters the text of an Op Ed piece about torturing prisoners that my former-CIA friend had tried, unsuccessfully, to get published in several mainstream media. Link on over and read it while I continue to catch my breath.