The Deathwatch Diary (Final)

My mom is gone. She died peacefully 11 hours after she was taken off the morphine drip as a result of my brother’s insistence. She never woke up. I guess our collective magic worked. Or maybe it was just that her time had finally come.

I have gone back with my brother to his house to get her clothes ready and find her rosary. Tomorrow I will go and stay with friends in Albany until the funeral later this week in Yonkers, where our family is buried.

My brother will finalize the funeral arrangements. I am tired of getting into arguments with him.

I write this clumsily on my iPhone because my brother has disconnected his wifi that I use for my netbook because he doesn’t want me blogging. Well, isn’t that just too bad.

He is already harassing me about crumbs on the floor and too many lights on. I thought my mother’s death might diffuse his nastiness toward me. Wrong, again.

But I will get through this and then go home. And not come back.

8 thoughts on “The Deathwatch Diary (Final)

  1. A deep, cleansing breath. Your grandson has been worried/sad for you. He’s glad you’ll be able to be home “for good”. Nan is at peace. And he, well, he will always be who he is because it’s more than just behavior…

  2. Peace at last. What a long and painful Journey this has been for you. I have been following it for quite a while and congratulate you for your persistence in spite of problems along the way. Now it is time to look forward and not back and pick up where you left off when it began. You have the satisfaction that you did what you felt was right even when things were tough. Sometimes that is all we get for doing the right thing.

  3. I too have been following this journey of you and your mother and wish you peace for the next steps. Life is certainly hard to figure out sometimes and yet it is what we have and you need to take time now to enjoy it – looking forward and not back, I like that thought.

  4. She’s at peace now, and so should you be knowing that you loved her and cared for her and fought battle after battle for her. No mother could ask for more from her child than to have such a strong advocate as you have been. When my time comes, I can only hope that my daughter will do for me what you did for your mom. Your brother will have to come to terms with his own behaviors, but please take comfort in knowing you served your mother well. As is said during Mass, Peace be with you.

  5. I have been following your journey for several years. What a difficult path for all of you! I’m glad you have reached a point of peace, and hope that you find a place of calm with your daughter and her husband, son, and grandson.

  6. When b!X tweeted that your Mom had died, I was sorry and relieved for you all. I’m glad it was peaceful. I know it’s been hell, and you’ve gone above and beyond caring for (and protecting) her as she disappeared – in the face of some really unpleasant resistance.

    I hope you now can go back go to your home, be with people you love, and get a chance to breathe – and then flourish, out of the presence of someone who sounds both distressed and distressing.

    I hope everyone involved finds some peace finally. My best to you all.

    (I dunno if you’ll remember me – I’m one of b!X’s whedony-fandom-friends. You folks scattered his dad on the Cape within days of my family doing the same w/ my father. I check in on your blog periodically, and have been following your tale for some while now…)

  7. I’m another one of b!x’s Whedony friends and I just wanted to extend my sympathies on your mother’s death and commend you for all you have done for her when she needed you the most. Please take some time for yourself to remember all the good times you’ve shared. (It looks as if you have started to do that with your last entry, remembering your mother.)

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