3 thoughts on “Because We Bleed

  1. Here’s what I just said in reply to your latest comment, Elaine:
    OK, yeah. Definitely. But that doesn’t mean that I have to concede that it’s “my work” to do. Just because someone refuses the work, does not mean it wasn’t their responsibility all along. I’m thinking of my 6 year old here…he might mess up his room, and it’s really not in his best interest to clean it up (“I like it messy, mom.”) but if I go ahead and clean it up for him (because I know that he actually plays in his room more when it’s at least a little bit orderly) it does not necessarily mean that it’s my job, it just means that I’m sort of throwing up my hands and, rather than waiting around for it to become important to him, I’m cleaning it up anyway.
    What I’m hearing from some people is the equivalent of my son telling me that it was my responsibility to clean up the room all along. Kind of like how my son claims to not care that it’s messy, but demonstrates a preference for a clean room, men here and elsewhere claim that they are for equality, yet they feel like it’s a woman’s job to get us there.
    And, you know, the work gets done exponentially faster (and it’s way more fun) when everyone pitches in.

  2. “So, guess who has to do keep doing the leg work — and most of that means raising sons with more egalitarian values and daughters who expect those values of the men with whom they partner.”
    Elaine, I couldn’t agree more!! Sadly, I know plenty of people who (at least seem to) politically support egalitarian values – but on a personal level do not model the behavior. (Same is true for many other issues, for example respect for the environment.)

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