when sleep won’t come

I’ve tried just about everything herbal and homeopathic and over-the-counter. I’ve tried relaxation CDs and guided imagery. The only thing that works is a sleeping pill, and I will have to convince my doctor to prescribe some more. But I wish I didn’t have to.

I can’t fall asleep for one night, and my mom can’t fall asleep for good. And I think it’s all tied together.

I am helpless to help her, and her distress surrounds me even long distance, follows me into my own darkness.

I can’t bear to be with her and helpless to ease her distress.

Although yesterday, before I left to return home after five days trying, I sang to her, and she stopped her constant moaning long enough to try to sing with me.

“You are my sunshine,” I sang, and her straining voice joined me, mostly wordless, but struggling to carry the tune.

Down the street from where I live now, a teenage boy with some sort of autism sometimes sits outside and “sings” along with his audio player. The sound is haunting.

“Somewhere over the rainbow,” my mother sings with me, hauntingly, and for a few minutes, perhaps whatever mental and physical pain she’s feeling fades into the background of her distressed mind.

But not for long.

mom

I wish you could slip into that long sleep of peace, mom.

We both need some rest.

3 thoughts on “when sleep won’t come

  1. I believe that there are some of us who, as we age, just need sleeping pills to sleep. I have tried all of the other remedies also. Luckily, I have a doctor who understands. I assume you’ve tried Melatonin, right?

  2. I also have trouble sleeping. My doctor calls it “age related sleep disorder”. I don’t have the troubles on my mind that you do and have found 2 Simply Sleep let me usually get a good nights sleep. You will note I said “usually”. My doctor thinks I should try Restasis but I have resisted. I guess when the OTC pills quit working, that might be where I go. Seems kind of unfair that when I finally get to where I don’t have to pay attention to the alarm clock, I rarely sleep past 6 o’clock and some nights spend half of it awake. You have to be hardy to get old.

  3. Yes, I’ve tried Melatonin, as well as any number of other “natural” products that are supposed to help with sleep problems. They used to help, but not any more. I am in the process of trying something recommended by one of my cousins: Peaceful Sleep (http://agrolabs.com/peacefulsleep.html), which thus far has made it possible for me to fall asleep. Also thus far, I wake up in a couple of hours. Last night when that happened, I got up and took another half-dose, and that seemed to do the trick. Maybe I just need to take a dose and a half to begin with.

    Peace Sleep contains many of the ingredients that I have taken individually : Valerian, Calcium Citrate, Gaga, Lavender, Passion Flower, Lemon Balm Leaf, 5 HTP, Boron, Vitamin A Palmitate, Melatonin, Casein, Aloe Vera & Chamomile fortified with multi Trace Minerals and a comprehensive complex of amino acids. This combination formula just might be the thing that works for me.

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