Harper’s Tipsy Tuesday

To hell with Hezbollah and its daily headlining. Sometimes it’s important in keeping one’s spirits up to be reminded about life’s more fun-damental absurdities.. The following are excerpted from Harper’s Weekly Review:

Colombia began exporting its big-butt queen ants (Hormiga culona), which taste like juicy popcorn when toasted.
Venezuelans were spending their oil money on Scotch whiskey, [The New York Times] and American guitars were dominating Japan. [MSN]
In Thailand, a preoperative transsexual named John M. Karr claimed to have been present for JonBenet Ramsey’s 1996 death, which he called “an accident.” [The New York Times]
Benedict XVI complained that being pope is “really tiring” and emphasized that “seeing the funny side of life” is crucial to his ministry. [Yahoo! News]
It was reported that U.S. military recruiting violations rose in 2005, as did the number of troops discharged for homosexuality.[Washington Post]
Houston’s rising crime rate was blamed on refugees from New Orleans, which has been gripped by a baby boom.[The New York Times][Breitbart.com]
Officials in Canton, Ohio, decided that a 13 percent pregnancy rate among its high schools’ females justified moving beyond an abstinence-only approach to sex education, [LA Times][Local6.com] and a secretly pregnant 21-year-old in Florida went into labor, sneaked out of her parents’ house, crashed her car into a canal, then delivered standing up in the wreckage. She named the baby Myracle.[Palm Beach Post]
Doctors in India speculated that the birth of a one-eyed girl might be attributable to her mother’s exposure to Cyclopamine, a cancer drug derived from wild corn lily that causes cyclopia in sheep.[Wired News]
South Korean DNA tests on tissues obtained during a 2003 hysterectomy indicated that a Frenchwoman was the mother of two rotting infant corpses found in a freezer at her home in Seoul, but she and her husband denied any relationship to the dead babies.[Digital Chosunilbo]
Sir Mick Jagger lost his voice, [The Daily Mail] a Chicago ice-cream-truck driver was shot dead behind the wheel,[Local6.com] and a tree in Texas was mysteriously spouting water from its bark.

And, on the home front here in the mountains, at various times during the day, I found that mom had dressed herself in two pairs of slacks, three blouses, and two different shoes. She never sits down for more than 15 minutes. She walks. And walks. And rearranges dresser drawers and closets. Her language center seems to be affected most of all; she thinks she’s using the correct word for what she wants, but, for example, when she wanted a “kleenex today”, she asked for a “cushion.” It’s getting more and more frustrating for both of us.
I feel the need for a respite coming on.

2 thoughts on “Harper’s Tipsy Tuesday

  1. Your post today saved me a lot of time trying to catch up on the news! Thanks for bringing all this to my attention. Helps put things in perspective while providing some distraction. 😉 Life does go on in a uniquely special way despite all the headlines from around the world.
    Can appreciate the challenges and frustrations to which you and your mother are being subjected. Does she recognize printed words, including names — objects, people? Then, is she able to read and verbalize them appropriately? Some people who are able to do that have been known to benefit from having such printed information attached to specific items/individuals/pictures to assist them.
    Suppose you know your tone of voice, facial expressions, body movements — all those non-verbal ways in which we communicate with others — are especially meaningful to your mother now.
    That sense of restlessness, endless movement, anxiety, and for some, what is referred to as “sundowners syndrome,” when the activity seems to increase at night, can be wearing, exhausting for all.
    I am glad to hear you speaking of recognizing when you have a need for respite. Hope that is something with which you are able to readily avail yourself. Ultimately, you will be of little help to others unless you take good care of yourself I guess you know.
    Since I am not that familiar with your earlier writings, what I have said may all have been previously well-covered, but I feel better for having written it. 😉

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