wishful thinking

I don’t know why I thought things would be any better with my mom after my short visit to my daughter and her family. If anything, they’re worse. I’m not sure if it’s her hearing or her mental processing, but she never seems to know what I’m asking her or saying to her. I see now that I have to get her on a regular schedule so that she doesn’t sleep until noon and then stay up until midnight.
Every ten minutes, she asks me if I’m going out. If only I were.
she has something special for you she tells you. she has a beautiful dress, she says, that you can wear when you go out. you want to remind her that you never wear dresses anymore and that you only go out to the store. but something a friend recently told you made you realize that it doesn’t do any good to be logical to someone like that. “I’m a good mother,” she says and brings out a dress that you never liked on her when she wore it. “I never wore it,” she says. so you take it and tell her that you’ll hang it in your closet and it will be there if you ever need to wear it. that seems to satisfy her, as she continues to extoll the beauty of the dress and how you will look beautiful in it.
I wish with all my heart that things were different in this little picture in which I live.
And in the big picture? Well, Dean Landsman has the right idea, as he shares this hope for the future:
dreamscomingtrue.jpg

1 thought on “wishful thinking

  1. How I feel for you in that situation with your mother. Your stories are so similar to the ones I heard from my two sisters when, until recently, our mother was living alternately with them. Just 3 weeks ago there was an offer of institutional care for her. Both my sisters suffered much guilt when they agreed to accept it. But it has turned out for the best and Mum settled in better than anyone had expected. Her permanent state of confusion made it easier – she mostly thinks she is staying in a hotel. I do hope a solution turns up for you very soon.

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