I’ve watched eight movies in the past four days, including Matrix Revolutions (I actually went to the movies by myself on Thanksgiving eve) and Bowling for Columbine, which I rented. Watching those two movies within 24 hours of each other was enough to push me over the funk edge.
So I just kept watching movies. I had nothing better to do anyway. And, since I’m a good multi-tasker, I could watch TV and still work on some boa-scarves and other stuff that I’m going to sell at a craft fair in my building this weekend.
When I was kid (that’s before TV) I escaped via radio, fantasy books, and creating cool clothes on paper. And I spent most of my time escaping, since I was house-bound a lot with asthma and had to take care of myself.
It seems that I’m heading back to where I started, only now its TV and DVD, fantasy books, and creating cool clothes out of yarn. It’s a good thing that I’ve had some memorable adventures in between, because I’d be pretty pissed at finding myself pretty much back where I started. And back with my mother, to boot.
Actually, the truth is, I could get out and do things. But what exactly is it that I would do at my age? What new things can I take up? I started learning to tap dance but my herniated disc acted up and that was that. I have so little input that I can’t seem to generate the output that transforms itself into what was once pretty good poetry.
Most of my life right now is one big volunteer effort, so I sure don’t want to volunteer anywhere else. I’ve lost touch with what I like to do for fun. I haven’t made any new (other-than-blogger) friends in three years now. And that’s very unlike me.
I guess maybe I’m feeling the same as Tom Shugart, but for different reasons. (Actually, I can’t seem to get onto Tom’s site because of some kind of cookies that his haloscan comment function is trying to get my computer to accept and it won’t. I know that it has something to do with my security settings, but I don’t want to degrade them and I don’t have trouble with anyone else site. Anyone have any suggestions?)
So I read. A lot. Just started Pratchett’s Carpe Jugulum as I read through the Discworld series. I just finished Dan Brown’s Digital Fortress, which I spent most of Thanksgiving Day finishing.
Escape. Fantasy.
Tonight, there’s Alias and Criminal Intent (I dig Vincent D’Onofrio) — which I have to tape bacause it’s on at the same time as Alias, and The Practice (ditto James Spader).
Escape.
Is that all there is left for me, I keep thinking?
I’ve got to get out and visit my grandson and take him his Christmas presents, which, of course, I went overboard buying. (I just love Amazon.com’s free shipping.)
I miss having a reason to feel in a holiday mood. I need to make some new friends. I need to hug my grandson and my daughter and my angel of a son-in-law.
I need a reason not to escape.