So hard to be back.

It was so hard to leave, hard to head back to this deadening place.
My daughter and her son are so full of life and love.
I slept better on their couch than I do in my own bed. I ate less and better. I laughed and hugged a lot more.
It was so hard to leave. I was finally establishing myself as someone the little one knows and likes. The three of them will be coming here to visit for his first birthday in a couple of weeks. I wonder if he will remember me.
It bothers me how much about my kids

4 thoughts on “So hard to be back.

  1. Remember Castleton. Remember Green Avenue, an apartment that once was a store. Remember a big, open front room with hardwood floor. Remember Melissa in knit booties standing with her back to the front door. Remember her setting sail toward the kitchen and us,everyone’s arms outstretched. Remember the wonder the three felt at that first excursion. Sure you do, it’s there, cast back. Remember.

  2. I remember the apartment, remember her in a little X-shaped walker, remember the high school students who visited on Halloween and didn’t want to leave because they thought it was so cool that we were dressed in costumes. But I don’t remember those first steps. Strange.

  3. Wow, Elaine, I’ve been threatening to go crash a poetry slam for several years now, but never get around to it.
    Let me know how it goes, the feelings you get back. I think it will feel warm and rejuvenating, like a splash in a warm waterfall, naked.

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