That thought occurred to me as I was commenting on Blog Sisters, and it seemed important enough to mention here in terms of the “girlism” issue. And it ain’t whatcha wear, it’s how you abuse it to manipulate.
In a comment on Shelley’s weblog, Frank Paynter says God I love a girl in a skirt and nylons and CFM shoes who smiles at me and makes me feel good to be a man.
There’s nothing wrong with that (except for the CFM shoes, which are hell on the feet!) if it’s just that — that simple visual acknowlegment that we appreciate the visual gender differences. It’s when the “girl” or “woman” proceeds to apply her female feminine wiles to manipulate that male’s “good feeling” to get what she wants that it fosters sexism. And it’s when the man confuses that “feel good” feeling with permission to treat the female in any way but as a human equal.
It ain’t whatcha got; it’s how you use it, how you abuse its latent power.

While Burninbird is posting here and here (I’ve repeated what she wrote at the end of this post), even my dreaming is filled with the same frustration!!!
In the wee morning hours this morning, I dreamed that I went with my mother to visit some family who lived way out in a rural area. While there, they suggested that I go and join a bridal shower going on for their daughter. Their (really cute) teenaged son was supposed to give me directions on how to get there (which was quite far away), but he kept telling me to get on roads I never heard of. So I asked if he could give me landmarks or major intersections that I would recognize because I probably knew how to get to those — and then I could find my own way, even though it might take longer. In my dream, the young man continued to do it his way, even taking time to go to his computer and look for a map. At one point I remember telling his mother that I remember reading that women prefer getting directions that give them landmarks. The dream continues like this as my frustration and anger grows and the young man refuses to give me what I need until it’s too late for me to leave for the party. ARRGGHH.
And this is what Shelley posted, in her frustration, while I was dreaming my nightmare.
Shutting down the conversation
What’s particularly difficult about writing something such as my posting Girlism? is seeing the gentlemen in the community linking to Halley’s post, but not my refutation. Huzzahs for Halley’s refreshing honesty and blowing the lid off the terrible games we women play.
Perpetuating the myth by controlling the links, and thereby controlling the discussion. Well done. Is this another lesson we women should learn?
But then, I’m picking on Halley with my posting, aren’t I? And members of the same community are not supposed to do this. We either agree, or stay silent. Another lesson to learn.
Why are more women’s voices not heard in technology? Because men control technology’s voice. I guess the same could be said for weblogging.
It’s in the air, friends, it’s in the air.