No Ordinary Ordinance
by MYRLN (guest poster)

In Utah, a 70-year old woman was handcuffed and tossed in the slammer.

Why?

‘Cause she wouldn’t tell a cop her name.

What?

Yeah, honest. This cop was trying to write her a ticket but she wouldn’t give her name and then she decided to go back into her house.

And…?

And the cop must’ve figured she was trying to escape, so he grabbed her and cuffed her. Then she tripped on her steps and fell, scraping her nose and elbows. And the cop took her to the slammer.

You’re kidding!

Nope, and there she languished for more than an hour before police higher-ups heard of the arrest and had her released. (No, her name wasn’t Hilton.) And the arresting cop was put on administrative leave.

Huh? Wait, wait…what was he ticketing her for in the first place? Speeding? DUI? No license?

Well…no. It seems the woman had violated the town’s “nuisance” ordinance.

Ah…playing the t.v. too loud! Or too many animals?

Uh…no. It’s an ordinance against neglected yards. The woman had refused for a year to water her lawn.
HUH? And they…?

Yeah…they did.

But it’s HER lawn!

Yeah…there’s a town without a lot on its collective mind, huh? Much like the rest of the country which insists pukey, manicured grass you have to water often is superior to nature’s own hardy, self-tending menu of wildflowers, dandelions, weeds, berries, new trees. Nope…we can’t have that stuff. That’s…well, natural. The last thing this country wants to be. ‘Cause in our twisted logic, natural’s not…well, natural. It leads to violating the nuisance ordinance.