Hah. Another all nighter!

After my all-nighter the other day, I just stayed up all the next day, fell asleep in my chair for a couple of hours in the afternoon. After taking some MMJ, I fell asleep about 4 am and slept for 15 hours. It doesn’t help that I had great dreams, filled with people and things to do. No wonder I don’t want to wake up.

It’s now about 2 am. I’m losing track of what day and night it is. I am either going crazy or I am dying. I don’t know which I prefer, since I have no reason to stay alert and alive, anyway.

I need a reason. I think I found one at the Thomas O’Connor Animal Shelter. A sweet looking 8 year old couch potato cat. I will make an effort to make that happen.

I also have to get the MMJ under some kind of control. If I take too little, I still don’t fall asleep. If I take to much, I don’t want to get out of bed and stay there all day. That, alone is going to drive me crazy.

Tomorrow, I will call the shelter. I have to find a reason to stay sane. And alive.

And I will look of a neuropsychologist who takes my insurance and does telehealth. It can’t get any worse. If it does, I’ll just refuse to ever get out of bed. It’s not worth it.

10 thoughts on “Hah. Another all nighter!

  1. I know what lack of sleep feels like, but your case goes beyond what is normal for seniors. The cat will help with any anxiety related issues, but your best bet is seeking that professional help. I sincerely wish you all the best at solving this problem.

    • I probably get enough sleep, but it’s at crazy times. I’m trying to find a therapist, but so far the ones I have contacted have a long wait list. I guess the whole world is going crazy.

  2. I like what Bruce had to say.
    I feel for you, a lot.
    And of course I have a bunch of thoughts, ideas.

    Exercise and light….can you walk outside? Go outside. Sit and watch birds, squirrels. Daylight during the day. Daylight daylight.

    Can you get to senior center, for anything, anything at all. You play games, you are good at them. So they are boring and the people are dumb…it’s ok.

    Or the library??? Knitting or crochet club??? Quilting place near you has classes, or did have classes. $$ though…but senior center and library are free…just to get out, beyond the walls….you can do it, you can do it, you can do it

    Any tiny one thing to have each day that is goodness. Feel the goodness, feel the earth.

    • First I have to figure out how to be awake during the daylight hours. Right now, I don’t fall asleep until 4 am or later, and then I sleep like a rock for 10 or more hours. Today, I didn’t get out of bed until 4 pm. I am trying to figure out what’s going on and how to make the changes I need. I’m very discouraged.

  3. Yes, it’s the whole world! Congrats on your new pet though – they don’t know how crazy the world has become, and can be wonderful companions. I take meds to get to sleep, so I get some of what you’re talking about. How is the poetry group going for you? Let’s Zoom again sometime in the near future.

    • Well, the dog had to go back because he couldn’t be broken of biting. For him, it was playing, the way he would with other dogs (who would have let him know that biting was not OK). So, I’m going to get a cat. Saw a couple at the shelter and have to go check them out. Of course, that means I have to be up during the day, which I am still not. The Zoom poetry group gives me something to look forward to. When is a good time/day for us to Zoom again? I’m totally available.

  4. I empathize with your sleep issues as I went through that longer than I care to think about, and even now it may be too early to be sure I’ve established a healthy pattern now. I committed to trying to reschedule my metabolism naturally so haven’t tried the melatonin I bought thinking I might start with half a 3mg pill and see what happened. Instead, I’ve spent weeks going to bed earlier than my personal preference to be a night owl I sometimes indulged.

    I won’t bore you with the details but there were weeks when I still couldn’t get to sleep, but I hung with it. Then weeks when I’d think I’d mastered it, but routine bathroom trips kept occurring. But, suddenly there would be one night when I got no sleep at all — I stuck with my sked and didn’t fret about it all. Well, I hope it lasts, but I’ve had over a whole week now of mostly good sleep, not even needing a bathroom trip, and sometimes recalling dreams which suggests the important deep sleep is happening. As I said, I hope it lasts.

    My thought was that meds and the other stuff would likely just mess up my metabolism, plus how long would it take to get it all out of my system so it could even begin to try to function as it would need. This is all so different for each of us, so what works for one may not necessarily do so for another. I do hope you can find something that works for you.

  5. Well, maybe I was over-confident, psyched myself out by writing that previous comment — or maybe I should have gone to bed 2 to 3 hours earlier than the 2 a.m. I did — I had just lost track of the time. Now, still awake at about 4:30 a.m. I finally got up and think I’ll try spending the rest of the time ’til later morning in the recliner. Then, tomorrow night will start a new period to try to keep that going for a time.

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