Monthly Archives: January 2008

oh those ravelled sleeves

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Macbeth is not the only one who yearns for “sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleeve of care.”
My mother has spent the past two nights unable to sleep. That means we don’t sleep either.
And here’s yet another reason to love the Internet.
At midnight, I get onto Google and search for “elderly insomnia.” Lots of information there, including suggestions for drugs such as Lunesta and Desyrel.
I decide to take another tack and re-educate myself about our circadian rhythms and the function of the pineal gland (the famous “Third Eye”) in producing melatonin, which makes us feel drowsy.
My mother gets practically no daylight, which means that her pineal gland is probably not producing enough melatonin. On top of that, her brain atrophy might be affecting the pineal gland as well, since it’s located in the deep middle of the brain.
In the back of my “pill” shelf (you know, Omega 3, Resveratrol, MicoMedicinals, and other stuff I buy and then forget to take), I find a bottle of sublingual melatonin, 2.5 mg.
I take one and give one to my mother.
It’s now 1:16 a.m. We are both still up, but it can take more than an hour for the melatonin to kick in.
Yawn.

your country ’tis of thee

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The following post is by MYRLN, a non-blogger who is Kalilily Time’s guest writer every Monday.
YOUR COUNTRY ‘TIS OF THEE
The original version of the movie “Rollerball” with James Caan, ostensibly about that mad, violent sporting event, actually depicted a country wholly under the control of big business. “Just a movie,” people said. Oh, yeah? Perhaps you missed the news last week that IBM had settled a suit filed by its employees. The company agreed to finally pony-up overtime pay it had been withholding from workers. “So what do you want?” you might say. “They’re paying it. Case closed.”
Not quite. You see, in order to pay the withheld monies, IBM decided it needed an infusion of fresh cash. So what’d it do? It reduced employee salaries by 15% in order to pay for the settlement. Honest.
*** ***
Then there’s the newly agreed upon rebate of tax monies announced the other day. To fix a lagging economy and avert a recession, we are told. How? Well, you see, the idea is for the government to give back some of our tax money to us. Then we’re supposed to go right out and spend it, thus infusing the economy with fresh cash. In other words, “Here’s your allowance, go spend it in as many places as you like, only spend it. Right away.”
In further other words, go get that money in the hands of big business so they get richer, even though they’re getting their own kinds of rebates in tax reductions and are already subsidized by the government at our expense. But what’s really important for us is to be sure that CEOs get their multi-million/billion bonuses so their families don’t suffer any inconvenience. Boy, are they breathing a sigh of relief that we care so much about their welfare…oops, forbidden word.
*** ***
Hillary-ous says South Carolina picked on her by defeating her so badly. Now she’s vowed to cry throughout Super Tuesday to be sure she gets a fair shot.
***
Wonder why our national media have daily focused our attention mainly on Clinton and Obama, deciding they’re the only viable candidates in the Democratic Party? Easy, they provide fodder for tabloid-like sensationalism: first woman prez or first black prez. The hell with the real issues. What matters is media deciding who’s important and who’s not.
***
Your country ’tis of thee.

sound familiar?

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Got the following in an email. Hormones combined with stresses were always a disaster for me. I no longer have the hormones, but I sure do have the stress. And I do remember those old PMS and menopausal hormone horrors..
Q: How many women going through MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?
Woman’s Answer:
One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM
THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!
AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
I’m sorry. What was the question?

mother to son

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The following poem is from one of Jim Culleny’s daily poetry emails:

Mother to Son
Langston Hughes
Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So, boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps.
‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

it was bound to happen

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I figured it was only a matter of time before I hit something with my new car. The time was yesterday.
I felt so virtuous, taking bags and bags of my already-read books to the local library. As I was leaving my parking space in the library lot, I misjudged my distance from a big boulder as I pulled forward after backing up. Arrggh. There goes my bumper.
I figure that the first accident is like the first kiss. Once you get it out of the way, you can relax and enjoy the ride.

1 to 1

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That has wound up her sleeping schedule, one a.m. to one p.m. And sometimes she actually sleeps until it’s almost supper time.
They used to call it “hardening of the arteries,” , the condition that is causing her vascular dementia. It doesn’t matter that I feed her healthy food now. Almost 92 years of kielbasa is a very long time. It’s too late to take the cholesterol medicine she has always refused to take.
Yesterday morning she woke up at 8 a.m. agitated and muttering “We have to get out of here.” “We are going crazy.” When she tried to stand up her legs gave out. “Who’s beating me?” she asked. “Everything hurts.”
Every once in a while, in one of her altered states, she says, “I’m sick. I’m dying.” And then she cries.
There’s not much we can do except try to reassure her in calm, easy voices. We are here, we say. You are not alone, we say. Everything is OK. We will not leave you.

word surgery

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The following post is by MYRLN, a non-blogger who is Kalilily Time’s guest writer every Monday
WORD SURGERY
In curious ways, words contain surprises we don’t always (if ever) notice — some of them can break down into two or more words having no relationship to the original word’s meaning. In the previous sentence, for example, the word “relationship” can be broken into two words: “relation” and “ship”. But words with certain suffixes, like “-ship” or “-ion” or “-tic”, “-ant”, and “-able” make
finding breakable words easier and thus a little less fun in the finding. But sometimes they’re fun, too, especially when finding the more difficult kind becomes frustrating.
Indeed, the same applies to many words sharing particular prefixes like “in-” (as in “in-deed”, “in-tent”) or “be-” (as in “be-have”, “be-rate”). Also less fun and too easy to identify are those long-ago manufactured compounds, like “fare-well” or “eye-sight.” But again, they can be fun to recognize, too.
The real gems, however, are those words that have none of the above characteristics and at first glance might be unrecognizable. They’re the ones that break down into fun, surprising, and often funny new words with no connection to or sometimes totally opposite in meaning or sense from the original. Sometimes one comes along that requires a surprising piece of punctuation, say an apostrophe, to make the split work. So have some fun, find the kind of words in your life that break into new words.
Below is a list to demonstrate some oddities of our words (including, as examples, a few with the kinds of prefixes, suffixes, and compounds mentioned above): understand… information… basically… cinematic… imaging (apostrophe required)… advice…supervisor… outage… season…mattresses… archbishop… miserable… realtor… forgotten (2 or 3 new words there)… tomcruise (:-))… protestant… manhattan… belong… designate lobby… candidate… cowardice… support… forage.
But one of the best of all: therapist.
Have fun.

one weird morning

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My cat is throwing up on my mother’s rug while she’s in the bathroom having a dementia meltdown.
My brother is yelling at me because I took his clothes out of the dryer (and put them in a laundry basket) so that I could put my mother’s clothes (that I gathered and spot sprayed and washed) in the dryer.
I finally get my mother settled in her recliner to watch the Catholic mass on EWTN. The priest is already in the middle of his sermon, disparaging global warming because of something to do with God putting the sun up there for us.
While I make my mother lunch, I am half listening to what the priest is saying, and it sure sounds like unrealistic nonsense to me — admonitions to live by the Church’s rules, a disempowering assertion of who’s the real boss of you.
I can’t see how any of that sermonizing can be of much help to anyone searching for guidance in how to give personal meaning to the actual time he/she spends on this planet.
What I believe is that where psychology and spirituality (not religion) overlap , it is at that broad intersection where one can discover one’s own power as an individual living in this place at this time. I am not using the word “spirituality” in any theistic sense, but rather in the sense of our animating energy, whatever it is that inspires us, awes us, puts a fire in our bellies. One’s own “spirit.” “Soul.”
The shaman of ancient cultures knew how to create that intersection. I think that the best of today’s therapists understand how to do that for today’s seekers.

poor Tom

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Tom Cruise has taken a lot of criticism from a lot of fronts. And now there’s a video of him extolling Scientology viralling around the internet. (There’s no such word as “viralling” but I think it captures the spiraling viral video phenomenon.)
It seems to me that Cruise is, indeed, the poster boy for how Scientology works when it’s successful. He’s confident in himself and his decisions — enough to carry on his purposeful life despite harsh criticisms. He feels a sense of humanitarian responsibility and he acts on that sense. He’s learned to be a positive thinker and the kind of person who actually practices what he preaches. His energy is focused, his goals ambitious, and he has a support system that really does provide philosophical as well as practical support.
Hmm. What would happen if all “religions,” all philosophies, were able to provide that kind of practical and motivating support?
I don’t think that you have to be a Scientologist to achieve those senses of confidence, caring, and contribution. But it’s hard figuring it all out by yourself, hard keeping motivated, hard remaining positive in a negative environment.
Scientology seems like the ultimate support system for individuals serious about attaining their dreams. Unlike many other spiritual approaches, it seems to prod you to get off your duff and DO. Not just contemplate, but ACT. And, more importantly, it gives you the psychological tools to enable you to move ahead in your chosen life’s path.
As a young man, my father read Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking.” and Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Throughout his life, he made good use of what he learned from those books.
From what I’ve read about Scientology, it seems to build on the techniques put forth in those two books, and it puts its own spin on the process of self-actualization.
There are many successful members of Scientology, and many of those are from the fields of the performing arts, which are very competitive and stressful.
I imagine that Scientology’s “can do” philosophy has helped them persevere in their chosen careers, helped them to overcome obstacles to success. No wonder that so many of them have found a psychological and “spiritual” home in Scientology.
My Dad had Norman Vincent Peale and Dale Carnegie and his Polish Catholic parish. Together, they worked for him.
Tom Cruise has Scientology.
Hey, it works for him.