Today was my mother’s birthday. I invited two of her neighbors over for cake and coffee. The two neighbors (one 92 and the other in her late 70s) chatted and laughed together while my mother sat silent. I tried to draw her into the conversation, but the truth is that she couldn’t really hear what the others were saying. My mom adamantly denies that her hearing and vision need major correction (and not just new eyeglasses). It’s really too bad because she keeps finding herself on the fringes of any group because she has no idea what anyone is talking about. A lifelong habit of “denial” is hard to break.
I hope that, as I get older and lose even more of my faculties, I will refuse to deny my failings. Well, I already have hearing aids that I use so that I can hear TV, movies, and whispered conversations. And I remember getting my first pair of bi-focals when I was in my forties. I just hope that when I start getting paranoid and not recognizing people I still have enough smarts left to be honest with myself ask for help — medicinal and otherwise.
I’m not sure that I have enough patience to see this caregiving responsibility to the very end. I have arranged for someone to keep my mom company once a week for a few hours so that I can get out into the larger world of friends and massage therapists and book stores.
I am finally feeling overwhelmed by the burden of being responsible for someone who is so dependent emotionally and psychologically.
I am feeling sorry for myself today. I wish I had my old life back.

I get emails from a guy named Charlie, who shares my views of the Bush administration. Charlie stumbled on one of my more vehement posts and figured he found a kindred spirit. He did.
Charlie tuned me in to


What is BuyBlue.org all about?
Mission Statement: BuyBlue.org supports businesses that share our progressive values and ideals. BuyBlue.org uses our power as consumers to vote with our wallets, supporting businesses that abide by sustainability, workers’ rights, environmental standards, and corporate transparency. At the same time, BuyBlue.org focuses sharply on businesses that violate the essential values of a sustainable, fair and profitable society through their policies and the politicians they support.
Why was BuyBlue.org started?
On the morning after the 2004 election, half of the country woke up in disbelief and disgust. Shortly afterwards it turned to anger and bitterness and many were entertaining moving to another country. It didn’t take long for all of us to collectively realize that we had lost our country to the other side and we wanted, no needed to do something about it. It was at that moment that the original idea for BuyBlue.org was born.
Values
1. We believe that most politicians no longer serve the public’s interest and instead pander to influential corporations and special interests.
2. We believe that America can be great and united again, but first we must embrace progressive ideals that work in the interests of all of our citizens, not simply those in the majority or those who are privileged.
3. We believe that the best way to encourage our political leaders and corporations to enforce progressive ideals is to vote for those ideals the only way those groups understand; with our collective buying power.
4. We believe that as a community we can, will, and must make a difference.
If you go to their site you’ll find a constantly updated list of businesses rated from “blue” to “red.” I was pleased to find out that Hess, where I buy gas, is a “blue.” So are Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Barnes & Noble, and — of all things — Fredericks of Hollywood. Hallmark Cards and Home Depot are as “red” as Wal-Mart, Molson Coors Brewing, and the McDonald’s Corporation.
BuyBlue.org is interested in identifying as many business as possible that are “blue.” You can send your suggestions to mail@buyblue.org
Spread the word.