Sometimes things kinda settle into the back of your brain and you have no idea where they came from. Well, one of b!X (former?) friends gives that one true one credit for the ‘heh’ that I — and she — often use. Heh.
I hate patriarchy. But I like men who are not patriarchs. That makes sense, doesn’t it?
I’m a feminist but I like being both female and feminine. That makes sense to me too, although I occasionally run into people — mostly of my generation — who find that confusing.
I think about these things today because Frank Paynter left me a compliment to my “femininity” under the photo I left on my old blog site. And believe, me, I am complimented. At my age, I’ll take all those kinds of compliments I can get.
I remember my former boss (female, two years older than I) having a conversation about how different our attitudes are about accepting compliments from our male colleagues (i.e. “nice dress” or “hey, you got your hair cut; it looks great…”) as we get older. Of course, our whole unit was relaxed and collegial, so we were as apt to compliment the guys’ new ties or new hair cuts as well. But I know that in my younger, more radically feminist days, I was very sensitive to anything that smacked of condescension or trivialization — that I interpreted as detracting from my professionalism. Heh. How times have changed.
And they’ve changed not just for me as I move out of my prime (but, hey, there’s still a dance it the ol’ dame yet, don’t forget). I get to know younger women like Halley and Jeneane and Shelley and Denise and Andrea and Anita (and lots of my other Blog Sisters) and see strong, sexy, confident, professional, savvy women who blend being feminine and feminist with ease and humor. As I still sometimes struggle to walk my fine line between feminine and feminist, I recognize that’s it’s a line drawn by the times and the situations that shaped my definition of who I am. (Just another example of why I was born too early.)
I also recognize that, in creating a blog-identity as a “crone,” I conjured up an image of myself that’s true only in spirit.
So, thanks, Frank. You made my day. Hell, you made my whole week!