September 19, 2003
Arr! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, and this bilge rat is joining a couple of my wenchiest Blog Sisters in celebrating the fact that we women can be as salty as any bung hole.
According to the Pirate Personality Profile Test that you can take on the Talk Like a Pirate web site, this is me:
You, me lad, are an activist! You will not only change the world, you will make a dyed-in-the-wool Pirate dream of you in a sheep costume. You are the embodiment of the love that dare not hoist its sail! Ahoy thar! You could make a two-patch Pirate turn his head - but then he would lose sleep over it and what good would that do anyone? An innovator, you are WAY ahead of your time - and everyone else's. You are sensitive and artsy-fartsy. You say things like, "artsy-fartsy" but there is always a slight giggle in your voice when you say it - like Paul Lynde on Hollywood Squares delivering a staggering punch line. Speaking of "punching" the only "punching" you would do is punching up that outfit with some accessories - say, a little bandana and some glass beads. You're not the Pirate we want in a fight, but we want you there for the crying game that follows! You go,
Well, don’t underestimate Cabin Boys and Crones. Remember Pirate Jenny:
You people can watch while I'm scrubbing these floors
And I'm scrubbin' the floors while you're gawking
Maybe once ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell
In this crummy Southern town
In this crummy old hotel
But you'll never guess to who you're talkin'.
No. You couldn't ever guess to who you're talkin'.
Then one night there's a scream in the night
And you'll wonder who could that have been
And you see me kinda grinnin' while I'm scrubbin'
And you say, "What's she got to grin?"
I'll tell you.
There's a ship
The Black Freighter
with a skull on its masthead
will be coming in
You gentlemen can say, "Hey gal, finish them floors!
Get upstairs! What's wrong with you! Earn your keep here!
You toss me your tips
and look out to the ships
But I'm counting your heads
as I'm making the beds
Cuz there's nobody gonna sleep here, honey
Nobody
Nobody!
Then one night there's a scream in the night
And you say, "Who's that kicking up a row?"
And ya see me kinda starin' out the winda
And you say, "What's she got to stare at now?"
I'll tell ya.
There's a ship
The Black Freighter
turns around in the harbor
shootin' guns from her bow
Now
You gentlemen can wipe off that smile off your face
Cause every building in town is a flat one
This whole frickin' place will be down to the ground
Only this cheap hotel standing up safe and sound
And you yell, "Why do they spare that one?"
Yes.
That's what you say.
"Why do they spare that one?"
All the night through, through the noise and to-do
You wonder who is that person that lives up there?
And you see me stepping out in the morning
Looking nice with a ribbon in my hair
And the ship
The Black Freighter
runs a flag up its masthead
and a cheer rings the air
By noontime the dock
is a-swarmin' with men
comin' out from the ghostly freighter
They move in the shadows
where no one can see
And they're chainin' up people
and they're bringin' em to me
askin' me,
"Kill them NOW, or LATER?"
Askin' ME!
"Kill them now, or later?"
Noon by the clock
and so still by the dock
You can hear a foghorn miles away
And in that quiet of death
I'll say, "Right now.
Right now!"
Then they'll pile up the bodies
And I'll say,
"That'll learn ya!"
And the ship
The Black Freighter
disappears out to sea
And
on
it
is
me
Trackbacks (2)
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Avaste Ye! on 19 Sep 2003
Ahoy ye blackguards and scallywags! Today be Talk Like a Pyrate Day! And to fill ye'r sorry lives, we three -- Elaine, The Kalilily Queen, Jeneane, The Sword of the Marketeer, and meself, Flaming Bird, the Songster -- will bring ye tales to make ye'r b...
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Belay that, Ye Froward Wenches! on 19 Sep 2003
Arrrrrr! A little parrot, a burning parrot told me that three piratical maids have claimed pre-eminence on the pseven pseudo-seas of pcyber-[not really]-space! Aye, and the Flaming Bird has upped the ante by several doubloons, or doublets or something,...
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Old Comments (3)
Lindsay on 19 Sep 2003
Don't forget International Elephant Appreciation Day is coming up soon.
Deesotilio on 13 Dec 2005
Aye, ye suck the ass, arr!
That thar be the suckiest writin' I ever lay me plunderin' eye on!
Take an English or Creative Writing class before ye test yer metal on the internet!
ARRR!!!
May yer peg leg rot off.
-Deeso
The Dread Pirate Cat on 14 Dec 2005
Yarr, ignore that scallywag, he's a damned dirty landlubbin' Ninjer! That said, the story-slash-poem thing does stink like a bucket o' chum left out too long. I went to the homepage o' that link ye gave, and it was in Spanish! "Yarr, the fuck be that" I said! Aint no good English poetry ever shamble out of that hellacious peninsula! Yarr, in fact, aint NOTHIN good ever come out of that desert shit-hole! Damn the dabloons, now I'm all angry!