November 09, 2002
I passed up seeing 8 Mile and Bowling for Columbine in favor of Frida tonight, and I’m not sorry I did.
The movie itself is a feast – visually, aurally, thoughtfully. It’s the thoughts it brought to my mind that haunt me tonight.
In my younger days, I sought the kind of passions that drove Frida Kahlo both artistically and emotionally. The creative highs, the emotional lows -- feeding each other in an endless loopy ride. How boring to be ordinary. How deadening not to feel a persistent tremor threatening every step. Life and love careening along the edge.
But is the ride worth the life?
Somewhere along the way I guess that I decided it wasn’t. (Not that I’m considering my minor ride in the same league as Frida’s.) If I only go this way once, if my immortality lies in the legacies I leave behind in terms of the influence I’ve had on other people, what is it that I want to leave behind? Frida Kahlo left her art. Was it worth the ride? Did she have any choice?
I had a choice. I miss the passion. But I don’t miss the pain.
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Old Comments (4)
The One True b!X on 11 Nov 2002
Now go see Bowling for Columbine.
maren on 12 Nov 2002
I so desperately want to see this. Oddly enough, without the pain there wouldn't be enough entries or experiences. That's what gets me through tumultuous times, the faith that in the end I will have yet another story to tell.
Elaine of Kalilily on 14 Nov 2002
Well, yes -- life will always include painful times. I just wonder sometimes why some people make the choices that obviously will cause more pain. Why do some people seem to make such self-destructive choices? I guess that's one of those simple questions that has a number of incredibly complex possible answers. (Sigh. I'm really wishing for simplicity these days!)
Andrea on 14 Nov 2002
How come between all these three flicks, the one I'm not particularly interested in seeing is the only one that's playing within a fifty mile radius? I've been achin' to watch, especially, Bowling... but I don't have the time to drive all the way down to Seattle to watch a movie. :-/ And Frida is playing about 45 minutes away. Yeesh. What's wrong with you, film distributor people??
Wondering why people choose the self-destructive path is a dangerous road-- there isn't a logical answer. There are plenty of entirely illogical answers, and most of them involve a large helping of self-deception, too.