September 18, 2002
My grandson snoozes on his mother’s shoulder, nestled in the bunting I knitted for him before he was even born. For the first time in my life, I’m in awe of how a new human creature comes to be. I guess with my own kids, I was too busy feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility and the work of it all resting on my shoulders. I never planned to have children; I never planned for anything. It seemed that I was always in the middle of coping with the immediate. And, as a result, I can’t remember experiencing the pleasures of being “in the moment” with my children.
My daughter somehow found her way into a much better life (not much thanks to me.) She and her husband wanted and planned and saved for and both welcomed this baby with open hearts. They share his care, although she has chosen to be the one to stay home and be the primary caregiver. And she relishes each moment of the days that she spends introducing the world to this tiny stranger.
Taking care of my mom aside, there is a part of me that likes living the life of a free-spirited single woman. I still have time to indulge my two favorite passions – writing and dancing (not always in that order.) I meet new people all of time and have a certain notoriety because of my role as editor of the local dance magazine. I have both male and female friends with whom I hang out, although not as much as I would like to. I can sit here blogging all night and sleep late in the morning if I choose.
Yet, driving home from the couple of days spent with my daughter and her family, I daydreamed about the joys of a much different life – a time when I might be able to move closer to my daughter and her family – close enough so that my grandson can toddle over to my door at any time and come in to play. Maybe I’d finally plug in that food dehydrator I bought years ago and, together, we’d figure out how to do its magic on lots of fruit so that we both would have healthy snacks. And we’d gather stones to make a rock garden, plant giant sunflowers, and stake out birdfeeders. On rainy days, we’d invent new recipes for cookies and then lie down on big stretches of butcher paper and trace the outlines of our bodies that we would then cut out and decorate with scraps of fabric and buttons and feathers and magic markers. Maybe we’d make kazoos out of combs and waxed paper and we’d have a pots and pans percussion parade.
I guess I just want to do with him the things I didn’t seem to have the time or energy to do with my own kids. (Although I do remember one odd parade I led around the outside of my house when b!X and the neighbor kids were little. I think I unearthed the fife that I once played in a fife and drum corps. I remember that the only tune my fingers still knew how to play was the “Colonel Bogie March.” Heh. Odd how I remember that. I wonder if b!X does.)
I won’t see my grandson again until Christmas time. So I guess I’ll just keep daydreaming. And I’ll start working on the Winnie the Pooh that I want to crochet for him as a Solstice present. Or at least I’ll start on that after I glue the little rhinestones I bought onto the bottom of the new slinky black dance skirt I picked up on sale.
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Old Comments (4)
Bonnie on 18 Sep 2002
Did you get to hold him this time?
Lisanne on 18 Sep 2002
Awww! He is so adorable! I bet you are so proud and happy. That is a beautiful covering that you knitted for him. You're very talented! He seems so peaceful in that photo! How cute! :-) Thanks for sharing!
Shirl on 19 Sep 2002
Isn't he handsome! And perhaps your dream will come true...or perhaps parts of your dream will come true. (and only three month 'til Christmas...it will go fast)
Take care of you.
painting on 25 Apr 2004
Bonjour!
Interesting thread. If you have time :
Mark
painting