Word for word from Harper’s Weekly. To read all of the words and get the citations, go here.
Michael Jackson was planning to create a fifty-foot-tall robotic replica of himself that would roam the Las Vegas desert while firing laser beams.
In Spearsville, Louisiana, two fifth-graders had sex on a classroom floor during an assembly about murder.
In the Indian state of Gujarat, an unemployed man from Tooting, England, had found new work as Bahucharaji, the patron goddess of eunuchs.
At the Gaza–Egypt border a woman with three baby crocodiles strapped to her waist was detained after guards noticed that she looked “strangely fat.”
At least four Palestinians in Gaza were killed by what authorities called a “sewage tsunami.”
Members of a Michigan college fraternity called the police after a woman disrobed and started masturbating in their living room and refused to leave; the fraternity now plans to throw away two sofas.
A 15,000-mile-wide hexagon was seen on Saturn.
A Nepalese teenager believed to be a reincarnation of the Buddha began a three-year meditation in a concrete bunker.